Sunday, June 29, 2008

Is There Such Thing as a Successful Long Distance Relationship

Author: Rob Dunsmuir

A long distance relationship can be terrifying. I was in a long distance relationship twice with the same woman. I went on to marry this woman and live in the same city. I was a failure in a long distance relationship, and I was a success in a long distance relationship. My long distance relationship was heart breaking at times, and it was amazing at times. Let me explain the 5 key areas to having a successful long distance relationship.

1. Emotions in a Long Distance Relationship

Handling your emotions in a long distance relationship can be very difficult. A long distance relationship is very different from a same-city relationship. When you're in a long distance relationship, you have to read more into the words and actions of your partner.

2. Methods of Communication

A long distance relationship has different methods of communication. My first long distance relationship in 1994, was just the telephone. I spent $300 a month on long distance telephone calls. This was the main reason the long distance relationship failed - we couldn't justify the costs.

With the Internet you can have a long distance relationship for free using programs like MSN. Textual chat is one way, voice chat (like an audio conversation) is another, and best of all is video chat (face to face communication using web cameras). My 2nd long distance relationship with the same woman used MSN and web cameras for video conferencing. It was amazing to see each other every night. You could see the emotion in your partner's face - it was the main reason our long distance relationship was successful the time around.

3. Growing Together While Living Apart

Using programs like Skype, or MSN can allow you to grow together in your long distance relationship. It's essential to make the connection and make the most of your valuable communication time. Having a face to face conversation, sharing instant messenger messages, cell phone text messages, email messages are just some of the ways you can grow together with your partner in a long distance relationship.

4. Potential Problems and Mistakes

There are potential problems and mistakes in a long distance relationship. The biggest problem is 'misunderstanding'. In my 2nd long distance relationship, I relied on email and cell phone text messaging for the majority of my communication - I would misread text a lot of the time.

Text has no emotion, like in an email, or a cell phone text message. There aren't enough smileys or emoticons to describe one's feelings. Text is just black on white, very faceless, and I found I would misinterpret a message. That little voice inside my head would play on it.

My biggest piece of advice is to not let your heart-strings be tugged by text. Take it at face value in context of the rest of the message or messages, and trust in yourself that everything is fine. You'll be able to clarify the conversation when you speak with your partner face to face later in the day or evening.

5. How to Keep your Long Distance Relationship Interesting

Keeping your long distance relationship interesting is essential. Sharing the conversation is crucial. On average a person listens for 17 seconds before interrupting. Listen twice as much as you speak. Show your respect and admiration for your partner by sharing the conversation.

My partner and I would play online games together through MSN or other web sites. We'd share photo and news stories with each other. There was always a things to do with each other. Communicating online opened so many doors for keeping the long distance relationship interesting.

Conclusion

So if you're not sure whether you're ready for a long distance relationship, ask yourself these questions:

1. Am I willing to make the time to communicate with my partner

2. Do I have the tools (MSN, Webcam, Headset, Microphone) to have a long distance relationship online

3. Am I emotionally equipped to have a long distance relationship, where I may not speak with the person every day, and where I may have to rely on email or text messaging for my emotional needs

If you can answer Yes to these 3 questions, you are certainly ready for a long distance relationship. A long distance relationship can be one of the most rewarding love relationships.

A long distance relationship builds emotions at a different levels and in different areas of the relationship than a usual same-city relationship. If you can survive the distance, you can have a successful long distance relationship. Best of luck to you!


Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/is-there-such-thing-as-a-successful-long-distance-relationship-457608.html

About the Author:Rob Dunsmuir lives in Canada and has two young daughters. He has much experience in long distance relationships and dating. He dated his wife twice in a long distance relationship - once for 6 months, and a 2nd time for 2 years. Rob married his long distance sweetheart in 2007. Read Rob's Long Distance Relationship Guide for more tips and insight.


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Friday, June 27, 2008

Why Am I Still Single? – Online Dating, Dating and Chat Etiquette for Singles

Author: Mr Online Dating

Have you ever looked at your friends who have long term partners and wondered why you haven't got that in your life? Do you ever wonder when Mr. or Ms. Right will come along, and what the hold up is? Have you ever thought if perhaps, possibly, you're doing something that could be keeping them at bay?
Conventional dating and online dating in the new millennium is vastly different, thanks to the internet, however still very much similar as it has always been for singles. Take a look at some of the more common mistakes singles make when starting to date new people. Perhaps you're making some of these mistakes?

Lets assess your appearance and personal hygiene?

Take some time to get ready for your date. Clean your teeth. Refresh your breath. When you chat with your date, bad breath will surely be a turn off. SHOWER! Men, be sure to use deodorant. Ladies, don’t go overboard on the makeup or perfume. Select a pleasant looking outfit to wear and be sure it is suitable for the date. You wouldn't wear an Armani suit when on a picnic, and you wouldn't wear ug boots to the opera.

Make sure you are well mannered?

When singles are dating and trying to chat there are fewer turn-offs than a date who piles their dinner into his or her mouth, or even swears. Females who make snide remarks and chat about others during conversation is in pretty poor taste, and male singles who don't hold doors open and other basic courtesies will find themselves getting the cold shoulder at the end of the night. “Please,”, “thanks,” and “excuse me” are important phrases to employ; they show your date that you are a respectful person.

Don't chat constantly, let your date have some breathing space. Exposing your life history in day one? Nattering on regarding esoteric knowledge that may not interest him?

Everyone likes to be listened to. Your date is no exception! Whilst you may think the story of your life to be very fascinating, odds on that generally the first couple of dates, that guy probably isn’t all that interested in hearing every detail of your life in high school. That lovely little women most likely wont share your deep and enduring interest with vintage belt buckles, either. Singles should chat openly and ask and each other light hearted questions. Touch on these subjects, no problem, but don’t harp on them to the exclusion of all else, be sure that your date has ample time to talk, as well. These tips always apply whether you are dating in person, or you are in a private chat via an online dating service.

Make sure you pay attention when she is chatting to you?

“Uh huh,” “yep,” “Oh, right…” - these remarks are a death knell to the start of a friendship. This implies that you’re distracted, not giving full attention to your date’s conversation. No one enjoys being on the sidetracks of someone’s thoughts, especially when they’re dating. LISTEN to him. Make remarks that show you are giving her full attention. “Really, your boss said THAT?” “and, where DID you decide to go?”

If you met through an online dating service, do you really look like that picture you uploaded?

This is a HUGE and frequent error many singles make when using online dating and chat rooms. They upload a photo from five years or fifteen Kilograms ago, or have a studio shot done, and wonder why their date looks let down or shocked when they meet for the first date.
We all want to appear at our very best and present the best possible appearance, however uploading out-dated and unrealistic photos is not the answer. Take or find a few photos that truly represent how you look RIGHT NOW. Don’t just fob off what is actually a work of fiction as fact.

Are you posing? Acting arrogant and conceited?

If you consistently pull that large wad of currency out, chat about your amazing achievements in sport, your job, and life, or take too much time removing that pocket compact to maintain your mascara, you’re going down a wrong track. Many singles dislike a flash date. Try to be a little more modest.

Don't be TOO modest!

No one wants to reassure their date all night. “I honestly hope you think I look okay!,” “I’m such a huge clumsy galah!” and similar are NOT good conversation starters, or serious relationship starters. Show alittle self-confidence, however don’t be arrogant and conceited about it. It can be a fine line, often, but not that hard to find.

Not always a good idea to focus on sex too quickly?

Sex is the best way to kill a budding romance. Guys, when you try to bed her too quickly, you're sending her the signal that all she is, is just a convenient body to be enjoyed to satisfy your desire, that you’re not really looking for a long term romance. Ladies, even in this new millennium, jumping into bed too quickly tells men that you’re heaps of fun in the sack, but not the sort of women they want to bring home and introduce to Mum and Dad.
When is the right time to go that extra step? That’s difficult to say, however certainly do not try within the first three to five dates. Allow some time to get to know your dating partner before you move onto sex. If the time is right, you will know. Those singles looking for a quickie, try your luck with adult online dating sites, or the local night club or bar.

Putting it in perspective.

With the first couple of dates, the answer is to allow time getting to know them, while giving him or her enough opportunity to realize who you are, also . Chat, listen, and be respectful. Don't forget that the person you are dating is probably just as nervous as yourself, so try to be forgiving if they make mistakes. They will probably be more likely to dismiss your little errors in return!

A first date should be light-hearted, cheerful, and enjoyable. So keep it pleasant and upbeat, you’re so much more likely to have a return date, and who knows? This first date might be the last first date and the start of something special!


Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/why-am-i-still-single-online-dating-dating-and-chat-etiquette-for-singles-457465.html


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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

How To Stop Break Up - Contacting Your Ex Tactically

Author: Allan Lim

"How to stop break up when my ex completely ignores me? He/she doesn't even bother to answer my phone calls. He/she won't even reply any of my text messages. Do you think I still have any chances?"

Are you trapped in the situation as described above? Or perhaps you are in a worse situation? If your ex is ignoring you, chances are you have tried to contact him/her too early or too often. This is what you will want to avoid at all cost.

Sometimes, it depends on your stages of break up. Depending on which stage you are at, the things that you will need to do will be different. Let's look at each stage separately. For simplicity, I will just divide it into two stages.

(The tips below apply to members of both genders. For simplicity, I will use "him" and "her" interchangeably)

1)You have just broken up with him a few days ago.

Since you just broke up with him a few days ago, you don't want to contact him too early. Now is definitely not the time to talk to him. You must be going through a tough time now and your mind is likely in a confused state. And perhaps your ex may also have the same feelings even if he is the one who suggested the break up.

Not good conclusion can result from two confused minds. Therefore, give both you and him some time to cool down. One month should be a good period. If you think you need slightly more time, it is alright too. Just make sure it is not too long.

2)You have already broken up with her for quite some time already, for at least a month.

If you are ready emotionally, you can start to contact him. But you don't want to overdo it. Just give her a call. If she doesn't answer, don't keep on calling until she answers your call. You do not want to appear needy or desperate in front of her.

If she sees that you call her so aggressively, she will know. Instead, you want to wait a few days before giving her another call. Probably, she will be curious about why you are looking for her and may decide to answer your call.

Proceed gradually, and you will definitely increase your chances to win your ex back. Try not to rush as it may make the situation worse instead of making it better.


Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/how-to-stop-break-up-contacting-your-ex-tactically-457059.html


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Monday, June 23, 2008

Ways To Get My Ex Back - Introducing The Not So Good Ways To Get Your Ex Back

Author: Allan Lim

What are the ways to get my ex back? Is it really possible or should I just give up and move on, since it is impossible to get my ex back anyway?

Are you currently trapped in a situation that is very similar to the one described above? Most probably, you may also have similar questions in your mind.

Well, there is definitely a chance for you to get your ex back. In fact, you will stand a higher chance to get your ex back if you know what you should do and what are the pitfalls you should avoid when trying to get your ex back. Generally, there are the good ways as well as the not so good ways to get your ex back.

Let us talk about the not so good ways to get your ex back in this article. This is more important now because once you are aware of them, you will be able to prevent yourself from making the same mistakes.

Perhaps it will help you if you understand this principle. "People want what they do not have." Of course this principle is not invented by me and I am quite sure some people will have come across it at one time or another. I am not sure whether you have heard of this before but let me briefly explain this principle to you.

Generally, the harder it is for people to have something, the more they want to have it. So, if you look at this principle from another angle, it also means people do not treasure what they can easily have.

(For simplicity, I will use "he" and "she" interchangeably. Take note that the tips still apply to both men and women.)

To use this principle in your relationship, you must be very careful how you present yourself to your ex. You do not want to do things that make your ex thinks he can easily have you. As stated above, if she can easily have you back, she will not treasure you.

For example, you don't want to do things that make you appear desperate. One very common example is calling too often. This is a very common mistakes made by many people, especially just after a break up.

Perhaps you may think it is already be too late for you to read this article. You may have already made the mistakes of calling too often or some other mistakes.

But there is no need to be worry too much about it as there are still things you can do to reverse your situation. And most importantly, stop making the same mistake. By understanding the principle introduced in this article, you will be able to avoid more mistakes and increase your chances of getting your ex back


Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/dating-articles/ways-to-get-my-ex-back-introducing-the-not-so-good-ways-to-get-your-ex-back-457058.html



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