The Joys of Having a Heated Debate

Author: Sir Julian Michael

I honestly believe that when two people engage in a heated debate there are positive benefits to be reaped from it. Not to overshadow some of the well known negative effects such as emotional hurt, or loss of physical control, but there are a few positive aspects that I'd like to get into and elaborate on a bit more.
First of, with respect to dating, a heated debate on any subject matter can show how much in common you and her or he have in common. Notice how I said subject matter and not issue. The key difference here is that an issue, as I would define it, can be something as trivial as- who is going to decide where to go on the weekend. I consider subject matter as topic that can be debated which has a depth to it and can be just as equally debated by someone who needs not know your personal situation.
So let's start with what i said earlier about having something in common. Through a good heated argument you will find that that the person you're with likely feels just as passionately about "X" or "Y'" topic as you do. If they didn't then the most common response would be to for them to leave, change the subject, or go silent. However, the reason why you are involved in a heated debate in the first place is due to the fact that the two of you have such opposite opinions on the same subject matter. The way to transform this odd likeness between you both into something beyond frustration is to always try and refrain from: yelling, exaggerated expressions, mocking, cynicism, or just about any form of sarcasm or frustration. Instead, focus on delivering your point of view in a very direct yet humble way. Listening is also good, although you might not agree with anything, still try and listen to the other person.
When the two of you are able to mutually take this approach to debating one another, even as things become hot, then what was once an emotionally bitter and frustrating experience to endure can now be turned into an interesting study of how the girl or guy your dating really thinks about something outside of what just happened on cable t.v. or in People magazine!
Remember, a good debate on any subject matter doesn't have to be boring. As long as you're able to find a topic that you both respond to strongly then you're ready to let the fun begin =). One thing I would recommend though is to not stay on any one topic for too long. Try and take the lead, or follow if need be, and keep things moving on so things don't get stagnant.

About the Author:
Julian Michael is a regular contributor to the Secrets to Dating blog. Other writings of his can also be viewed at MyTenGoldenRules.com